There is an inward cycle that persistently reoccurs in my life, and so, here I am to document it as honestly as I am capable of, to paper with ink.
Generally, (and I will get down to brass tax) it goes something like so:
You receive a Gift. You lose the Gift. You have Hope. Hope turns into Confusion. Confusion turns into Hope Lost. And then, you receive back the Gift.
II. GIFT LOST.
V. HOPE LOST.
I am currently within this cycle as I write this, and plan on keeping diary on my inward journey through each phase.
(Received Gift: 1.5.20, Lost Gift: 1.7.20)
Firstly, I will explain all phases:
Generally, the Gift received is not physical – it is Soulful. It presents itself to you unasked, un-yearned, and unbeknownst to your previous desires; there is no clue or cue of its existence until it is birthed and breathes life. It is heavy-surprise, life-changing, belief-destroying, & remains mysterious, even after you’ve seen its face.
And so, (here is the magic trick into PHASE II.) you are FORCED with surprise and grandiose shock to become OFF-BALANCED.
And so, God being a God who cares deeply about ones balance and centeredness (because that is where God is – in the Center.) he takes away the soulful Gift, like a Father who takes away a child’s toy for not acting appropriately.
II. GIFT LOST:
(no need for explanation.)
The Gift that grieved you is fresh.
Typically, in the birth of this plane, Hope is pure; it is doubtless, and you know, within your heart of hearts, that you will receive the Gift back.
But, in Time, and as it is with Time – it conjures thought. It conjures idea and skepticism. It conjures doubt.
If you are an honest thinker, and not drunk with the ignorance of pure hope – this will happen. We tend to feel that doubt is reality, even though it is still up in the air, and this leads to:
Hope is not dead yet, but it is just about done fixing up it’s noose.
A Wiseman will let it go. He will climb up the tree, tie off the rope, and leap swiftly off of the branch.
The swifter he is – the more wise.
V. HOPE LOST:
This is the plane that All may fear, yet, the adaptation alone conquers a strength that is vital & important.
Like the Wiseman, it is easiest done by surrendering with certainty to Death (hope lost), and it is here that you manifest, supremely, your Higher Self.
In your heart, the Gift is now dead. You have seen it live in beauty and you have experienced it’s decay. You possess the complete knowledge of it – it’s Good & it’s Evil – and yes, I mean Evil, because, if you are a smart thinker in the HOPE LOST phase, you will have studied the Gift & shown yourself all of the negatives that it may have, in fact, manifested whilst in your drunken-pure-hope stage.
You will show yourself to understand, solidly, why you aught NOT to possess this Gift, after all.
You get it.
THOUGHTS ON THE CYCLE:
It is clear to me that within this persistent Magick Cycle that infests & suggests my life, that it is pure Genius. Hail the Prime Creator and His perfected teachings.
The Gift is received. Filled with excite, you are off-balanced and unready to handle it. The Gift is removed. You transform. You see everything that the Gift is – including it’s pandoras box, which you did not see before.
You are balanced now.
You deserve the Gift.
You get it.
TIMELY SCHEDULE (not concrete):
I. The Plane of HOPE is usually long lived. (couple weeks +)
II. The Plane of CONFUSION. (few days)
III. The Plane of HOPE LOST. (couple days)
IV. Like a thief in the night, the Gift is given. (swiftly, when least expected)
Sometimes the Gift you receive back is not the concrete thing that you thought – but something profoundly similar in Symbolistic Measure. In other words, the Gift may be different, but what you had acquired was the same –