Humpty Dumpty:

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall;

All the King’s Horses & all the King’s Men,

Couldn’t put Humpty together again”


BEHOLDAmongst the English-speaking World – the Nursery Rhyme that is Most well-known.

BEHOLDAmongst the English-speaking World – the Nursery Rhyme that is Least well-known.

Wouldn’t you know, intriguingly and mystifyingly, that within this shortened rhythm of words that has rose up from the darkness to Conquer the Ears of All – that the Wisdom within the Rhyme surrenders itself, till this very day, to the Mysterious Mystical Unknown.

Who is Humpty Dumpty, and what dost this Nursery Rhyme teacheth on? You see, I have searched it out far and wide, from countryside to valley to hill to high plains to motes and to mountainous streams – and not one golden answer is foretold. However, there are attempts. But they are weak, and are broke, and are a grimace to my psyche. For the “answer” and the “explanation” that has taunted me mostly on my travels is a pity to the Seeing Sages, and a detriment to the Heart of any Artist:

MORAL of HUMPTY DUMPTY: “Be careful”

If I was poised with the power of spewing on command, I would make myself ill.

But Fear Not, Lady & Gentleman. For I have meditated upon this Mysterious Mystical Unknown quite intently. I have journeyed through the labyrinths and the landscapes of my mind, from countryside to valley to hill to high plains to motes and to mountainous streams, and BEHOLDI have slayed and defeated the brutish beast of a dragon that was centuries of years old. For let I, Jack O’Lantern, here and now declare a PROCLAMATIONA Stern Foundation and a Weighty Meaning; a Rock of Origin and a Kingly Moral, to this Historical Rhyme that has Conquered the Ears of All:


Once Upon a Time in a Timeless State of Mind…

There was the Royal Lineage of the D’Umpity Family:

[D’um (of one) Pity]

Humpty D’Umpity, the grandson of the King, collects a ritual Egg from Mother Goose.

Mother Goose: Canst we allow this one to hatch, Child? I feel a good thing about this white one with the spot of black on it.

Humpty D’Umpity: Oh, Mother Goose, you know the tradition. You know the D’Umpity Family Flag, don’t you? For it is the noble Egg with the noble Lizard coiled around it; for it is the noble World and the noble Dragon Energy that wraps it. It is time for the celebration, come now, this egg will be well praised.

Mother Goose: If only it makes it to the altar! You are a clumsy boy, Humpty. For most of my Eggs that they send you for fall on the journey homeward. Tell me now, you have done this once per year since you were 5 years of age, and you are now 15. How many have you kept the whole way?

Humpty: 2.

Mother Goose: My heart! This Egg is not of the rest, Child. Cursed you be if something ignoble happens to it.

Humpty: I will do my best to be noble, Mother Goose.

Humpty takes the Egg with the black spot on it and heads back to the D’Umpity Castle. The drawbridge is closed, and the castle is surrounded by a Rampart Wall.

Humpty: What is the point of having Rampart Walls when all they do is keep out the Royal Family that had built them? I mean, I have not personally built them myself, but it is my family who has done it – so why dost you guard me from making way? Where is my Mother? I need help.

A Lizard named Luminary peeks himself out of a crack in the Rampart Wall.

Luminary Lizard: Help, you need? But you are a royal blood, no? Do Knights seek help? Do Kings and Emperors? Julius Caesar and Marcus Aurelius? Where is your house, Royal One?

Humpty: Behind this Rampart Wall, Luminary.

Luminary: Along with your mind, Royal One. You are the son of a Princess, aren’t you? All of your life, a careful lot you have been. Careful here, cautious there, life is a hazard – but fear not, for the Princess hasn’t the heart to turn you away her helping hand. You are 15 years a man, grow up.

Humpty: How does one grow up?

Luminary: By going up.

Humpty bends his neck skyward to stare at the 33ft Rampart Wall that stands before him.

Humpty: I will go up, I will grow up.

Humpty puts the goose Egg in his mouth for safe keepings, and begins to scale the Rampart Wall. He conquers the height of the ledge, spits out the Egg for a full breath, and then drops it; and then it cracks, and then there is a crack of lightning, and then Humpty D’Umpity is turned into a white Egg with a black spot on his forehead.

Humpty: Help.

LO: This Egg is not a normal Egg of normal Egg attributes. Hearken hither to my fine words: From the waist and up is an overgrown Egg; but as for everything below – the boy’s short legs sway, and his arms do hang from his sides; and his smile, eyes, ears and nose do live on, as well.

From the outskirts of the Castle, a Peasant and a Pagan stroll on by.

Peasant: My God, it is a miracle!

Humpty: Fetch me my Mother, I need help.

Pagan: Ha, help! You are to be worshipped!

Peasant: You are only missing that one thing.

Pagan: Indeed, you are. You are only missing that one thing.

At this subtly sly moment, Luminary Lizard slithers and crawls up the Rampart Wall, and coils himself around Humpty D’Umpity – [D’Umpity emblem of the House Flag]



Peasant: HAIL!

Pagan: HAIL!

The Pagan and Peasant hail Humpty D’umpity, and scurry with scurrying words off into Town.

Humpty: But… who is going to fix me?

Luminary: Fix, you need? But you are a royal blood, no? Do Knights need a fix? Do Kings and Emperors seek to be fixed? Julius Caesar and Marcus Aurelius? Zeus & Hercules? Gautama & Christ? TANTUM POTESTIS FIGERE TE, Sir!

Humpty: Although I do not know the mystery of your mystical words, I do know that I am round, Luminary; and I am so high in the sky that I am stiff and frightened cold like a refrigerated egg. My new being is so off balance and so wobbly – I am very gentle, you know. I can feel that there is nothing but yoke inside of my shelly stomach, for when I do move tither and hither, I do even feel the tide sway. I must do my very-well-best to not move too suddenly, or certainly I will shatter myself in the descent downward towards the Hells.

MAKE WAY: The Town Arrives: Pagans and Peasants, Knights and Poets, Jesters and Priests, and all. 

Crowd: Ooo… Ahhh…. Woahhh…

Peasant: Do your eyes see it now, Ladies & Gents?

Pagan: It is a marvel to eye, is it not, Ladies & Gents?

Humpty: Please, won’t somebody fetch me my Mother?

Jester: Why, Silly Sir, for dost not you bear eyes to eye? For I know that you are an Egg, but I do see that you do see like I do see. You see, we are on the wrong side of the Rampart Wall, Silly Sir. The Princess awaits inside.

Humpty: For I cannot even bear to move an inch, will you please handily share with me some helpful hidden advice that will lead me to the conquering of this curse?

Jester: Bear what you bear not, and bear to move an inch. Grow tall, Silly Sir, and stand! Walk and strut the line like a real boy, and then grow into a real Master.

Humpty: Stand and strut? I… I think that I can fix myself to do that.

Humpty D’Umpity braces himself for the attempt.

Crowd: GASP.

Carefully, he rolls over onto his side, rolls over onto his belly, positions his shortened hands on the ledge, and pops himself up into a wobbly stance.

Crowd: WOAH!

Like a tight rope walker, with hands outstretched and one foot in front of another, he walks the line of Royalty and the Republic.

Crowd: OH!

Humpty begins to get used to this sort of standard strut, and then he begins to walk with pride, and then he begins to smile, and then he begins to whistle, and then he begins to march. And now he is kicking up his legs and performing dance.

Crowd: WOOOO!

Peasant: SUPERB!


Jester: BRAVO!

Humpty grants the Town his courteous bow and then has a seat on the wall, comfortably.

Humpty: I can’t believe I am the Master of the walk.

Priest: Fair Boy, faith in yourself is faith in the Spirit as well. Bravo indeed, but you are still sorely stuck. For certain you may walk and strut and dance to a tee, but canst you make like the Thunder and roll?

Crowd: ROLL?

Priest: Yes indeed, roll. To roll like Thunder is to be like God; and to Master Life is to roll like Thunder.

Humpty: (gulps) I… I think that I can fix myself to do that.

Humpty D’Umpity rolls over onto his side, and shift his body the proper way for a smooth roll – which happens to be with his legs and arms dangling over each side of the ledge; and then he very cautiously begins to turn over…

Crowd: OH MY!

He completes a turn.

Crowd: OH GOOD!

But after a little while, Humpty begins to get rolling with this way of travel. He rolls tither and hither, backwards and frontwards, he spins and twirls and rolls and gains speed and launches himself up into the sky to land on his feet on the 33ft ledge of the Rampart Wall.

Crowd: WOOOO!

Peasant: SUPERB!


Priest: BRAVO!

Humpty grants the Town his courteous bow and then has a seat on the wall, comfortably.

Humpty: I can’t believe I have rolled like Thunder.

Knight: Nobility will keep your soul alive and well, Sir Humpty. For God may truly be He Himself the rolling Thunder, but He Himself is in the swamps and the deserts and the rugged mountain ranges as well.  For doth one climb up a mountain range himself, or dost the mountain range itself carry one up it? We say “Thank you God for my feet” but fail to thank the Divine Ground for meeting us below. We say “Thank you God for my lungs; my heart!” but fail to thank the Spirit for our breath and our love. What is more important, the heart or the love? The lungs or the Spirit? The feet or the ground? Are you there to greet the mountain range, or is the mountain range there to greet you? Dost the mountain range exist without you? Perhaps it is you who are the mountain of your own range.

Humpty: I am the mountain of my own range?

Knight: Lo, aren’t we all.

MAKE WAY: All of the King’s Horses and all of the King’s Men arrive, as well as the Princess.

Princess: Sir Humpty.

Humpty: Mother!

Princess: What do you do all the way up there, and wherefore art thou your natural self?

Humpty: I am an Egg, Mother.

Princess: I see that! What for?

Humpty: What for? I… I think that I can fix myself to sort this thought out…

Princess: Please do, young boy.

Humpty: For I… I am a careful lot, Mother. Clumsy may I be, I am an excessively careful lot. And so I run to you for my Saving Grace, and you doth surrender to me your Hand of God – and so, I am as gentle as an Egg.

King’s Man: We will get you down from there, Sir Humpty. Just do not move too much. We will fix this, do you hear?

Humpty: Do you hear? I will descent downward towards the Hells, myself.

Humpty D’Umpity rolls over onto his side, and shift his body the proper way for descent.

Crowd: GASP.

He climbs, stiffly.

Crowd: OH MY!

But descents, nonetheless.

Crowd: OH GOOD!

Lo, a vine with a peculiar tangle has burgeoned where Humpty D’Umpity’s foot has set, and Humpty D’Umpity falls off of the wall.

Crowd: OH GOD!

The Egg shatters.

Crowd: Oh God.

And there, Humpty D’Umpity, the boy, sits cross-legged where the center of the Egg once was; doused and drooling in yoke – while the white egg with the spot of black on it balances neatly and centered on the top of his head, with Luminary the lizard coiled around it.


Humpty: Only You Can Fix Yourself.

Letter from Jack O’Lantern:

Hearken hither for the Truth and the Light: All of the King’s Horses and all of the King’s Men couldn’t put Humpty D’Umpity back together again, because he had already done it by discovering that he himself was the only way that it could be done.

And as for the Royal Name: The Unknown Artist and Mysterious Poet who had written the rhyme that had Conquered the Ears of All hadn’t the heart to peg Humpty as the “One Pity” of the Royal Family. But I, Jack O’Lantern, distinguish the light inside of the darkness. Because whilst Humpty D’Umpity was indeed the “One Pity” of the Royal Family – it is as well an Enlightened Truth that the Royal Family Name was spirited, since his family’s genesis, for Humpty all along.