JACK O’LANTERN’S JOURNAL:

4/14/20

12:32PM

I feel as though this aught to be headlined: The Lack of Millennial Philosophy – but then I’d have to delve into The Lack of Baby Boomer Philosophy, since they are the birthers & raisers of the Millennials.

So then, let us see if I can bend, twist & turn this into the mechanically functioned body of the head-line.

(5min later after confusion)

Perhaps we will draw out what The Millennial Philosophy AUGHT to be, by first imagining what it is current. Firstly, for the small scanty few of you that this dost not relay & relate to, you may ignore & let the Millennial Majority read.

Let me list 3 Philosophies that my generation – The Millennials – possess:

  1. It’s All Your Fault.
  2. It’s What I Want.
  3. I Will Not Strive For What I Want Because It Is All Your Fault.

Oh Baby Boomers! Bravo on your “skilled” bring-up.

SNAP OUT OF IT MILLENNIALS.

& TORCH YOUR PHILOSOPHIES.

Melt the brass, perform some alchemy, and turn it GOLD.

You must do this with courage & mental strength.

You must do this for The Attainment of True Happiness.

Rise up above yourself, above your raised ways, above your Father’s & Mother’s faults – and Conquer all 3 that I have just mentioned; in order to Conquer The World.

Trust I, Jack, as I have learned hard:

You will get The World.

You will receive Heaven in this Devil’s Playground.

All you must do is master your alchemy. You must be Brave, Noble & Knightly.

YOU MUST TURN BRASS:

  1. It’s All Your Fault.
  2. It’s What I Want.
  3. I Will Not Strive For What I Want Because It Is All Your Fault.

INTO GOLD:

  1. IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, BUT I SHALL CORRECT IT.
  2. I GET WHAT I SHALL GET MYSELF.
  3. I SHALL STRIVE.

This Golden Equation will get you The Golden Halo in the Devil’s Secretly Divine World.

-Jack O’Lantern

COPY @ 2020 JACK O’LANTERN